|MAY DAY 2019|
|Publication Date||May 1, 2019|
|Ad Source||The Arizona Daily Wildcat|
|Smiley Type||Smiley with 5 hairs|
SR/CL: May Day 2019) Leitmotiv: "Dare to hope"
Gustavus Adolphus has reserved Hus Hall at the Hotel California in honor of the 489th Anniversary of the Confessio Augustana. An additional vat of Full Doctrine will be on tap to celebrate the exposure of the Pelagian devils as perverts and sodomites. Calvin will present the latest assay tallies from the Feather River placers, while Cromwell will deliver a load of Pigs harvested from Grandpa's Farm. The Loyal Order of UN-reconstructed Freaks will transmit the itinerary for The Summer Tour as per the optimal path of the 5/1/72 map--directly through the Slough of Despond, culminating in Novus Ordo Seclorum. The Orphanage directly commends Latimer & Ridley for bringing us one step closer to "Reform without enforcement is Camelot without Merlin." "Et ad haec quis tam idoneus?" Orate pro nobis. ★