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4/2/08 Ad
Publication Date April 2, 2008
Ad Source MM Site
Smiley Type Smiley with 4 hairs, Smiley with 5 hairs, Multiple Smileys

Ad Transcript

SR/CL: Unscheduled; Leitmotiv: "[T]he matter admits no delay." -Wesley

3:10 to Yuma }+}}

Ben [Wade]: "There's a curse on that gun."

Minor Moron: "I ain't afraid a' no curse."

Ben: "Laugh while you can."

THE ORPHANAGE directly commends The Little Orphan Children for continuing to use the Local Yokel Pig Pond-scum as a totally secure portal; cf., II St. Peter 2:22. The retrieval itinerary for The Midget Tag Team must be implemented prior to Maitag. Retrieve sub specie: Passvorteingabefelder {[x]} "Vus den neuen Schachten, schafft mir das Gold!" +(!); Manhattan distance between the vertices: 32.54 N., 105.58 W. →Hamming cube: 46.98 N., 76.631 W. ((!!)}Levenshtein distance: ADW, 5/1/89, Level II. While neither the aforesaid Scum nor the Hirelings will detect the electronic retrieval, extreme physical caution must be exercised in the transport of ADW, 5/1/90, Level III—we cannot afford ancillary casualties at this juncture as the 2kg loss will be detected by the (ranking) Hirelings no later than Trinity Sunday, 2008, albeit unpunished. 43.35 N., 77.0333 E., cannot supply additional ШЧБAT prior to the second Sunday in Advent, 2008. Orate pro nobis.

Cutouts and Fragments

"Hjerlets renhed er at ville Eet."

rust and corrosion, by mold and d

oldance, by seepage and spillage,

ng, by flab and flatulence, by ebb a

ttering candle and busheled lamp,

arters, by loss and forfeit, by stutte

nt sails and uncaulked hulls, by lu

ght, by stench and stagnation, by

s, by slow waste and annual declin

taract, by drooling coma and aban


aximize: φ(λ) = E Ru [

act to: -∞ < λ ≤ 1.

51.53 N 12.40 E.



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The place:

4) "where the ra

Choir will meet in

the Summer Tour

the aperitif Stern

["Abraham was sittin

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Ad Artwork

Below the main text in the fragment section is a diagram of a celestial sphere, an imaginary sphere of arbitrarily large radius, concentric with Earth. The celestial sphere is a simple tool used to determine the position and path of objects in the sky. Wikipedia

The triangular fragment of a chart is currently unidentified. It may be another astronomical chart, or possibly related to physics.

On the right side, a 2x2 matrix contains the following symbols:

Below the matrix is a fragment of Hebrew text bordered by two black lines. אד‎זךּג ה‎ The second word means "the land," but so far we've been unable to translate the first word.

The rectangular map fragment shows the German city of Berlin, including the Haus der Kultaren der Welt, House of the World's Cultures Wikipedia; the Carillon, a freestanding 42 meter tower and musical instrument with 68 bellsWikipedia; and the Philharmonie, a modernist concert hall Wikipedia. See the area on Google Maps here.

Ad Image



Leitmotiv: "[T]he matter admits no delay." -Wesley

This line is drawn from a 1784 letter written to Coke and Asbury by Rev. John Wesley, the founder of the Methodists. The letter is introducing a new liturgy to be used in America and appointing Coke and Asbury superintendents in North America.

6. It has, indeed, been proposed to desire the English bishops to ordain part of our preachers for America. But to this I object; (1) I desired the Bishop of London to ordain only one, but could not prevail. [See letter of Aug. 10, 1780.] (2) If they consented, we know the slowness of their proceedings; but the matter admits of no delay. (3) If they would ordain them now, they would likewise expect to govern them. And how grievously would this entangle us! (4) As our American brethren are now totally disentangled both from the State and from the English hierarchy, we dare not entangle them again either with the one or the other. They are now at full liberty simply to follow the Scriptures and the Primitive Church. And we judge it best that they should stand fast in that liberty wherewith God has so strangely made them free.
Full Letter

In 1784, he believed he could not longer wait for the Bishop of London to ordain someone for the American Methodists, who were without the sacraments after the American War of Independence. Wesley ordained Thomas Coke as superintendent of Methodists in the United States by the laying on of hands, although Coke was already a priest in the Church of England. He intended that Coke and Asbury (whom Coke ordained as superintendent by direction of Wesley) should ordain others in the newly founded Methodist Episcopal Church in the United States. Wikipedia

Ad Interpretation


  • Maitag - German for May Day.
  • Passworteingabefelder - German - Password entry fields, or code word entry fields.
  • "Aus den neuen Schachten, schafft mir das Gold!" - German - "From the new shafts, I make the gold" or "From the new-made shafts go get me the gold." This is a line sung by Alberich in the third scene of Wagner's opera Das Rheingold.
  • ШЧБAT - Russian - shubat, also called chal, is a sour-tasting drink made of fermented camel's milk. It is popular in Central Asia, particularly Kazakhstan and Turkmenistan. Wikipedia

Religious References

  • II St. Peter 2:22 - Of them the proverbs are true: "A dog returns to its vomit," and, "A sow that is washed returns to her wallowing in the mud." Bible Hub These are the only instances of the words "vomit," "wallowing," and "mire" in the New Testament.
  • The second Sunday in Advent, 2008 - December 7, 2008.


  • 32.54 N., 105.58 W. - The middle of nowhere in Otero County, New Mexico off County Road E001. South of the Lincoln National Forest, and about 13 miles from the nearest town, Timberon. Google Maps
  • 36.98N., 76.631 W. - A lovely tree-lined block in Smithfield, Virginia on S. Mason St. Smithfield is famous for curing and producing Smithfield ham. It is home to the world’s largest pork processor and hog producer.
  • 43.35 N., 77.0333 E. - Almaty International Airport in Kazakhstan. Google Maps

Mathematical and Scientific References

  • Manhattan distance between the vertices - The distance between two points in a grid based on a strictly horizontal and/or vertical path (that is, along the grid lines), as opposed to the diagonal or "as the crow flies" distance. The Manhattan distance is the simple sum of the horizontal and vertical components, whereas the diagonal distance might be computed by applying the Pythagorean theorem. Wiktionary
  • Hamming cube -
  • Levenshtein distance - Levenshtein distance (LD) is a measure of the similarity between two strings, which we will refer to as the source string (s) and the target string (t). The distance is the number of deletions, insertions, or substitutions required to transform s into t. Pitt

Self-Referential References

  • The first fragment, including the Kierkegaard quote, BY WHATEVER MEANS NECESSARY passage, mathematical formula, the smiley, and the diagram with coordinates, is a photocopied portion of the 5/1/88 ad.
  • The second fragment is from 5/1/89
  • The third fragment is from 5/1/93
  • The fourth fragment is from 5/1/03