Summer Tour

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The Summer Tour is regularly mentioned in the adverts. Arrangements for the summer tour are often discussed as part of the annual Mayday advert. It first appears in the 5/1/89 advert.

Arrangements for Summer Tours

  • 5/1/89: 'The Asylum Choir will meet in joint session with the Midget Tag Team at Travelers' Rest to program the Summer Tour'.
  • 5/1/90: Not mentioned explicitly.
  • 5/1/91: 'Summer Tour brochures are currently transmitted via 1647 Virginia St, 37.52N, 122.18W'
  • 5/1/92: 'Un-reconstructed Freaks will distribute the itinerary for THE SUMMER TOUR as per the optimal path of the 5/1/72 map (64x64 square grid).'
  • 5/1/93: 'The Revisionists and Pelagians will jointly pay for the PARTY: time withdrawals from the Leo X account as per the clockrate test of 10/24/90 and topologically derive (id est, the Czech proximities) the itinerary for the SUMMER TOUR from the digitalized prospectus of the Breitenfeld Battle Bond (Series 1969).'
  • 5/1/94: 'The SUMMER TOUR itinerary is to be projected, Deo volente, as per ZORN'S LEMMA, sup specie the canonical metric of "The Worms will have their feast, then he that was least shall be increased".'
  • 5/1/95: N/A
  • 5/1/96: 'The Loyal Order of Un-reconstructed Freaks has encrypted the Summer Tour Itinerary as per a 32-bit microprocessor at a rate of 26 clock cycles per byte, to be run on less than 5K memory (XORs, +, table lookups on 32-bit operands), thereby foiling the Pigs' reliance on mega-crunch search strategy vis-a-vis the Revisionists' ability to monitor institutional mainframes.
  • 5/1/97: 'Neither the Pigs nor the Hirelings fear what they cannot see, thus the summer tour itinerary has been generated where normal inquiry would expect nothing...'
  • 5/1/98: 'Summer Tour: <arabic?>'
  • 4/29/99: 'Generate the Summer Tour by application of .714817007... to ADW 5/1/94, set the focal aperture as per the metric of "Raglan Road".'
  • 5/1/00: N/A
  • 5/1/01: N/A
  • 5/1/02: N/A
  • 5/1/03: '(62) Winthrop and Endecott have outlined the Summer Tour to the Midget Tag Team who will deliver the complete itinerary first to the (3) Feather River placers and then to Melanchthon, who is commuting between (15) Quzco and Quillabamba.'
  • 5/1/04: 'Orphanage has digitally deposited the itinerary for the Summer Tour in the cache of Amphitheatre Parkway, 94043'
  • 4/29/05: N/A
  • 5/1/06: '....including the itinerary for the Summer Tour in the Alternate Venue as per 5/1/89, FOURTH LEVEL, inclusive of the cyclotomic polynomials; set optical aperture at St. Luke 8:36.'
  • 5/1/07: 'Summer Tour Itinerary is to be extracted by accessing "the endless line of splendor" via the characteristic polynomial of 5/1/88, 4th Level. '
  • 5/1/08: N/A
  • 5/1/09: No Advert
  • 4/30/10: N/A
  • 5/1/11: 'Summer Tour, videte Alternate Venue (5/1/93)'
  • 5/1/12: 'The Orphanage directly instructs The Loyal Order of Un-reconstructed Freaks via William Stoughton to place the digital itinerary for the Summer Tour in the Alternate Venue (applicable Banach space, 3/10/93, Level II; calibrate optical aperture as per 5/1/96, Level I—the Hirelings seek obfuscation everywhere, especially when there is none).'
  • 5/1/13: No Advert
  • 5/1/14: N/A
  • 5/1/15: N/A
  • 4/30/16: 'The Loyal Order of Un-reconstructed Freaks in conjunction with The Little Orphan Children have cybernetically generated the Summer Tour, which is on file in the Lambert Room of the Hotel California, available both consule Planco et in praesentia.'
  • 5/1/17: 'The Loyal Order of Un-reconstructed Freaks will distribute the annual dividend of the Breitenfeld Battle Bond and apply the proceeds to the Summer Tour. The itinerary can be cybernetically accessed from the Feather River placers which have been rejuvenated by the massive winter rains and snows.'